Random 90s Movie Review #10: The Pallbearer

Chick flick month continues with..

..1996's The Pallbearer, starring our main man David Schwimmer. I had never seen this one before, and was very much convinced that it was a comedy. Like, a laugh out loud kind of comedy. I was also assuming the worst, because it has a lot of bad reviews floating around on the net. Neither of those turned out to be particularly true, though. While there are certainly smile-inducing parts (David Schwimmer/Tom is requested to bring wine to a wedding shower.. he brings wine in a box with a bow on top), it's more serious and reminded me of something more along the lines of Reality Bites. It's about 20-somethings dealing with life. And Michael Rapaport's there!

Why you should watch this movie: You need to find an appropriate way to end the fling you started with your deceased classmate's mother (hint: don't do it by mailing back her charm bracelet with a bad poem).

Why you shouldn't watch this movie: If sitcom-esque misunderstandings snowballing out of control make you want to hide under a blanket, steer clear of this one.

I Heart the Nineties rating: One snap up

Beverly Hills, 90210 Trading Cards #18: The Pet Set

This card is totally cute. 'Nuff said.

Random 90s Movie Review #9: I Love You, I Love You Not

June's movie reviews will have a theme: chick flicks. With that being said, this is going to be a tough month for me to get through. If you feel the same, my apologies, but we can suffer through it for the sake of remembering the 90s!

So to kick things off, our first review of the month is I Love You, I Love You Not from 1996.

Its tagline is "An Unforgettable Journey of Discovery", but the odds are not in its favor that I'll remember even watching this one a year from now. The only reason I had it queued up to watch was because it stars Claire Danes, Jude Law and James Van Der Beek.

Basically what happens is that Claire Danes plays Daisy, a current-day prep school student, as well as Daisy's grandmother in flashback scenes of Nazi Germany. Daisy is Jewish, which causes her to be victimized by pranks at school; she's also super into reading, wants to live with her grandmother and falls in love with Jude Law's character, who turns out to be a huge jerk and dumps her out of peer pressure.

The film was based on a play and it ended up still being staged like one, with awkward dialogue and scenes that just don't work. If you want to watch better movies about this subject/time period, try The Book Thief.

Why you should watch this movie: Just for the last two or three minutes before the credits start. Seriously the worst movie ending I've ever seen!

Why you shouldn't watch this movie: You'd rather not experience the uncomfortableness of watching Claire Danes make out with a mirror.

I Heart the Nineties rating: Zero snaps.. this should have been way better than it was. Maybe the play was good?

An Ode to the Raps of Left Eye

Who else could wear a condom on their face so fashionably?

Who else ends up having caused an accidental house mansion fire from retaliation?

Who else can rap so awesomely about drug problems?

Lisa is all that and then some. If you're not familiar with "Waterfalls", it is a must-listen. And then you must memorize her rap. She may have passed on too soon, but at least she left this behind. You go, girl!