Unreal Moments in Capeside, #2

Let's get straight to it. The most unreal moment in episode two is when Dawson asks his dad for advice on kissing. His dad's response: why don't you make out with that mannequin head and I'll watch and give pointers? Dude, don't go there!

Skee-Lo: A Man of Many Wishes

Things Skee-Lo wishes for:

1. To be a little bit taller

2. To be a baller

3. A girl who looks good

4. A rabbit in a hat with a bat

5. A 64 Impala

I feel ya man, shorties have it rough!

Beverly Hills, 90210 Trading Cards #4: The Beauty of Beverly

Brenda Walsh - If she were president, she'd be Babe-raham Lincoln!

Unreal Moments in Capeside, #1

When Dawson's Creek first aired in January 1998, I was a freshman in high school. I attempted watching an episode once but absolutely couldn't stand it, mostly because it reminded me of everyone I hated at school. Being 14 and a weirdo, I preferred anything on MTV like Beavis & Butthead, Daria, Sifl & Olly; my old stand-by The Simpsons; King of the Hill was still new at the time; and I would always stay up Saturday nights to watch SNL or at least program the good old VCR to record it if I had to get up early Sunday. So Dawson's Creek was seriously not my thing.

A mere fifteen years later, I was willing to give the show a second chance. It seems to strive to mirror regular high school life, but seriously some of the dialogue and situations are too unreal for me. And so begins...

Unreal Moments in Capeside, #1: The Pilot

Our very first glimpse into the world of Dawson's Creek involves title-character Dawson and his long time buddy Joey, who are both 15 years old, discussing why they should or shouldn't continue to have sleepovers on Saturday nights. I'm sorry, what? That's kinda whack. Why wouldn't they have thought of this earlier? Joey goes on about how it's wrong for them to share a bed now as friends because she "has breasts now" and Dawson "has genitalia", to which he responds he's always had it. And her retort? "There's more of it!" Ugh. Why I find this to be unreal: partly the fact that Dawson's parents allow these sleepovers, and mostly that Joey apparently didn't feel awkward about sharing a bed with Dawson until they were 15. Puh-lease!

April 8: Rex Manning Day!

To celebrate this special occasion, you should watch Empire Records. If you don't own it, unfortunately it's not on Netflix. And neither is Grease 2, which Rex Manning Maxwell Caulfield also appears in. But I'll tell you what is on Netflix: Maxwell Caulfield starring in The Boys Next Door and Midnight Witness. Yikes, both of those movies involve violent murder! Try your best to get Empire Records instead, resorting to Amazon instant video or illegal downloading if needed.

Fly Threads

This chick's outfit meets all the requirements of 1998:

1. Wife beater tank top

2. Baggy green khakis (she would get bonus points for cargo pockets)

3. Beat-up skate shoes. These appear to be Airwalks, but Vans are also acceptable

4. Ball chain necklace

5. Large plastic thumb ring

6. Hair in two buns with butterfly clips